Chapter 1: The Game of D&D: A Brief History
Chapter 2: Dungeon Mastering Fundamentals
Chapter 3: Two Jobs
Chapter 4: Preparation
Chapter 5: Details
Chapter 6: Functional Preparation
Chapter 7: Effective Gameplay
Chapter 8: Stepping Outside the Game
Chapter 9: Semper Gumby (Always Flexible)
Chapter 10: After the Game
Chapter 11: Sandboxing
Chapter 12: Herding Cats
Chapter 13: Final Thoughts
Chapter 1: The Game of D&D: A Brief History
Dungeons & Dragons has been around since the 1970s. It was very popular during the ‘80s, even making national news over a fake scandal over accusations it was turning all the kids into devil worshippers.
During the ‘90s and early 2000’s, it wasn’t so popular anymore, but it hung on. Then around 2014, the company that makes D&D (which wasn’t the company that created the game, by the way) came out with a new version and had a marketing budget and sales strategy to make it popular.
Oh, and the hit Netflix series Stranger Things helped. A lot.
A hit mainstream movie helped, too, but the current iteration of the game was already popular, so the connection between the game’s popularity and the popularity of the movie about the game is a bit of a Chicken and Egg situation.
There are two roles you can play (no pun intended) in the D&D game. You can be the player or the Dungeon Master (Game Master, referee, or even the Director as popular role-playing game YouTuber Matt Collville sometimes calls that position).
The vast majority of people who enjoy the game of D&D are players and only a select few choose the path of Dungeon Master (DM).
This article is for those of you who are interested in becoming a DM.
My History
I played my first game of D&D in May of 1980. Mt. St. Helens was erupting about 60 miles north of where I lived, I was in the sixth grade, and it was during a camping trip.
I’d never heard of the game before. My friend, Steve Finney, asked me if I wanted to play. He was in his travel trailer with another kid his age (both were about 3 years older than me), and we sat at the small table in Steve’s parents’ trailer.
They didn’t give me much of a tutorial other than, “Here, play a dwarf. You have a weapon called a ‘morning star’ (a club with spikes on the end).”
They gave me a rudimentary character sheet, hand-made in pencil on notebook paper, and when I asked, “What do these numbers mean?” they said, “We’ll explain as we go.”
My first task was to get into a room. The problem was there was an orc guarding the doorway. Somehow my blows landed true and the orc was defeated. I don’t remember any more of that first D&D session but I was begging my parents to buy me the game as soon as we got home.
It started with the purple Basic Set, and I was saving my allowance to buy the three core rule books of Advanced D&D (AD&D) soon after.
D&D was a big part of my life from age 12 through my early 20s, then I stopped playing altogether until around 2016 when I picked up the latest version of the books, fifth edition, or 5e for short.
Like software, D&D has gone through different ownership and different versions. There was Original D&D (OD&D), Advanced and Basic/Expert (more or less at the same time), then came 2.0 (there’s that software reference), 3.0, 3.5, 4.0, and then Fifth Edition or ‘5e’ as it’s called, which is current as of the time of this writing, but new core rule books dubbed “2024” are in stores now.
Throughout this journey, jumping from AD&D to 5e, I’ve spent roughly 95% of my time in the role of Dungeon Master. This article is from the perspective of a DM, sharing my advice and observations to others who are interested in learning how to become a DM.
Be warned. Dungeon mastering can take a lot of your time and energy. It must be a labor of love or you’ll never succeed.
I once calculated that I was spending up to 15 hours of prep time for every hour of game-time the players actually enjoyed. Don’t worry, that’s excessive and it doesn’t require nearly that level of time commitment to be good at it.
Chapter 2: Dungeon Mastering Fundamentals
I noted that being a Dungeon Master must be a labor of love or you won’t be successful. The word “labor” has a few different potential meanings, but “love” is the more important term to focus on here.
If you don’t love it, don’t do it. But you’ll find out soon enough if the love is there.
There are two extremes of how much labor (time and effort) will be involved in your position as Dungeon Master. You have two different duties as the DM, preparing the game and running the game; it is the preparation side where the bulk of your time will likely be spent.
You can be one of those DMs like me who spends a large amount of time preparing the game, or you can be one of those who spend little (if any) time preparing and wing it once actual play begins.
Most people are somewhere in between.
I, for example, have shifted from being an over-preparer more toward the center of this time-consuming spectrum. I still prepare but to a lesser extent and I do so in broader strokes with a lot more flexibility built in. I improvise a bit more but within a framework that I outline before the game begins.
Which will you be?
Here are two observations that I think will hold true for most new DMs.
When you’re inexperienced and lack confidence, it will likely be your tendency to over-prepare.
There is a sense that having everything mapped out to the finest detail will help you cover all bases and every possible scenario. You don’t want to be left empty-handed when the players go east instead of west, and that uncertainty is a common fear of beginning DMs.
This can lead to “railroading” (I’ll get into that later).
It’s a bit like being a budding musician. Until you have strong familiarity and many hours of time invested in your instrument, the idea of improvising in front of an audience will scare you.
Second, being flexible (improvising) at the gaming table becomes much easier when you’ve already handled many play experiences. You’ve already played all the notes and chords and with many other musicians and in many different styles, so when something new comes along, you’ll think, “This is similar to a game I ran a year ago. I’ve got this.”
Although advice is not the same as experience, and experience is a pre-requisite of the confidence you need to improvise, there are some methods and frameworks you can employ that take the fear out of improvising. Remember that most players can’t tell the difference between a 100%-planned encounter and one generated on the fly.
Chapter 3: Two Jobs
As noted, a DM has two jobs: to prepare the game and to run the game.
These are separate skills and different people have different ratios of talent between those skills. They also tend to like one phase more than the other.
The advice and guidance I provide will be focused on these as two separate skill sets, yet both are equally important. You can excel at preparation but fail at the table (your ideal creative outlet might be better channeled as a writer rather than as a DM). Some excel at the table but don’t prepare effectively (which can take several different forms).
For example, you can spend too much time over-prepping one aspect of your world only to experience a great amount of frustration when the players refuse to catch your hints, “The adventure is this way!” or barely scratch the surface of your craftily written encounters and exploration (they only visit two rooms in your mega-dungeon).
No chef wants to prepare a seven course meal only to have their diners nibble the appetizer and then leave the table.
At the game table, there are many small skills you should acquire and most are best learned by witnessing an experienced DM during actual game-play. Unfortunately, not all of this can be viewed from the player’s perspective. Much of what a DM does at the game table takes place behind the screen and in their head and it’s not visible to the players.
Because these two skill-sets are independent of each other, I’ll address them separately.
Chapter 4: Preparation
First, know thyself. Are you a long-winded storyteller? Are you efficient and only care about stats and facts?
Many DMs aren’t aware of this but they unconsciously think of themselves as storytellers, especially when they’re new to running the game. They have a grand story idea in their head and the players are merely the characters who enact the parts the DM already has in mind.
These kind of DMs tend to railroad their players. This term — railroading — refers to a plot-based game where the players are going to experience specific things in a specific order preordained by the DM. If they choose door number one, door number two or door number three, it won’t matter, they’ll still end up in the same room on the other side because the DM makes it so.
This might make for a great story but not necessarily great gameplay. It takes away the player’s sense of agency (personal freedom), which gets old real quick.
There’s a happy medium between the story-based approach and being completely random with no preparation or underlying story at all. The trick is to prepare what’s there but not how it’s experienced or in what order (that’s where railroading comes in).
Create your world to whatever degree of detail makes you happy (world-building is often its own source of joy for many DMs) but don’t worry as much about the plot or what order things are encountered (or at all).
It’s a hard reality that most of what a DM creates in their world will never be experienced by the players.
The extreme end of this approach is what’s called a sandbox. This is a world where all the stuff exists, but it is entirely up to the players where they go and what they do. There is no mysterious old wizard telling the party, “Go slay the dragon and recover the Wand of Wonder from its hoard.”
The dragon is there and the Wand of Wonder lies in its hoard, but it’s up to the players to discover these facts and make the decision to retrieve it.
Be honest with yourself about what you hope to get out of the experience as a dungeon master. If you really want to craft a very particular story that has specific characters and events within it, try creative writing instead.
If you enjoy world-building and the labor of love that it entails, be honest with yourself about how you’ll feel if the bulk of that world never gets discovered by the players.
Thinking back, I would say it’s a rare event when the party explored more than 50% of any given dungeon or adventure I created. 30% is more typical of dungeon settings and even less gets discovered in outdoor and wilderness adventures.
To me, creating those details ahead of time, even if the players never experience them, is a great joy. That lack of exploration used to bother me, but I’ve learned to accept the enjoyment of the creation for its own sake and no longer need the joy of it being consumed and enjoyed by the players. It’s great when they do, but it’s not a requirement for me.
If you can’t handle creating something elaborate and not having it be discovered by the party, you can either create less or write fantasy fiction instead (that way everything that happens is precisely what you want without a group of other people changing it or ignoring your creation).
Chapter 5: Details
The various editions of the Dungeon Masters Guide all have sections that talk about the categories of what an adventure can contain. They describe the type of adventures you can create: exploring the unknown, rescuing a hostage, destroying an evil temple, etc.
They also describe the suggested process and order of steps you can go through to prepare your adventure. This includes drawing a map, outlining key characters such as your Big Bad Evil Guy (BBEG) and its minions, stocking the dungeon or wilderness or town, etc.
This process is so well outlined that many DM guides even include randomized tables you can use to roll dice and figure stuff out as you go. I’ve never used them in actual game play but they can be handy when you need some creative inspiration.
My biggest advice about preparing is not about the details I just mentioned, but more about the bigger picture questions.
How much detail do you really need?
If you’re a beginning DM, you will probably be tempted to plan your adventure to a high degree of detail so you don’t have to rely on improvisation during game play. This is normal, but be aware that temptation is there, and be aware of the risk that a lot of what you plan either won’t be experienced by the players or their actions will derail your carefully planned plot and you’ll have to improvise anyway.
What kind of detail do you need and where?
If you have set encounters with monsters specifically placed in known locations, make notes of those monsters’ stats for easy reference during gameplay. Have their armor class, hit points, damage and vulnerabilities listed. Just don’t hinge your entire campaign on the players encountering those monsters for the story to advance.
Note where key treasure is located and who or what is guarding it.
Note the names of NPCs (non-player characters, the people in the game the players meet) the party will likely encounter. Innkeepers and quest-givers should all have their names predefined. This will also ensure you don’t refer to the half-orc innkeeper as “Gnarl” in session 1 and “Glorm” in session 3. (Players have surprisingly good memories for these kind of things and they’ll call you out on it.)
Plan monster encounters based on the likely strength and power of the party of adventurers but be prepared to alter that encounter to either be stronger or weaker based on the status of the party when the encounter occurs.
For example, you have a key encounter with a group of six orcs ready for a party of first-level adventurers. Unfortunately, the party’s cleric died earlier in the session and the remaining characters have low hit points. Instead of fudging the rolls (see below in the Gameplay section) to give the party a fighting chance (pun intended), it would be better to make them face fewer orcs instead of the originally planned six.
On the other end, if the party is proving to be exceptionally potent against their opponents, you can have additional orcs show up during the battle to help their comrades.
This is an example of taking something you planned and using flexibility during the game. Good DMs do this all the time.
If you focus on a framework instead of specifics in your adventure design, you can move things around, add or even skip things based on the player’s choices. For example, if you really have your heart set on the party making their way to a particular room with a special quest-giving talking statue, be flexible about where that room actually exists on your map.
If the party went left and the room was to the right, take a moment to decide if that special room really must be on the right. If not, make a quick change in your notes that the quest-giving talking statue is now in the room to the left instead.
The trick is to design the framework of your adventure so that there is flexibility built into it. If everything is structured with 100% rigidity like a house of cards, it will only take a single touch to bring the whole thing crashing down.
Chapter 6: Functional Preparation
I am naturally long-winded so I have the bad habit of writing my adventures in a prose-like format similar to how store-bought modules were designed back in the early 1980s (Against the Giants, White Plume Mountain, Ghost Tower of Inverness, etc.) This is fun to write but not efficient during game play.
I’ve already discussed in broad strokes what your adventure needs to specify, what is flexible, and implicitly what doesn’t need to be listed at all. Consider how much of this information you’ll need to reference during game play and in what order you’re likely to reference it.
Keep your monster stats in a table or list format on a separate sheet.
Keep maps on their own sheet so they can be visibly referenced at all times (I like to keep the map pinned on the inside of my DM’s screen).
Note rooms on that map with numbers and have the contents of that room keyed with the same number, listed in numerical order.
If I have any scripts that must be read aloud to the players, I include them in the keyed notes using a bold font, often in a box, so I can clearly see what is to be read to the players while everything else is for my eyes only.
This is where your preparation methods blend over into your gameplay. Over time you’ll get your own system worked out for how you want your prepared materials to look and be organized so that your actual game play goes smoothly.
Learn what materials are never or rarely needed during game play and keep them handy but out of your way. Like backpacking, take only what you need.
Chapter 7: Effective Gameplay
Compared to preparation, where things go at your pace and to whatever degree of detail you choose, gameplay will feel a lot more fast-paced. Parts of it can also feel a little out of your control. D&D is very much a dynamic experience with players and DM contributing to that experience.
To put this another way, avoid the temptation to insist that everything be under your total control.
“No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy.”
First, know your players.
If your players enjoy the theatrical aspect of D&D — talking in funny voices, role-playing interesting character personalities, interacting with NPCs and talking monsters — then be aware they will feed off of your ability to do the same. At least give them the opportunity to play in that manner even if you don’t share that same preference.
If your players love tactical action and combat, where they move miniatures around a battle mat and carefully select their actions for maximum effectiveness, plan to give them the opportunity to play in that manner.
You get the point. You’ll likely have a mix of player preferences, or different game sessions where the group prefers one over the other. Don’t be afraid to mix it up and ensure the party gets the blend that they want. Ask for feedback after sessions. Find out if they are growing weary of intense tactical combat or want to stop talking to townsfolk and go bash orc skulls in a nearby dungeon.
The advice is: know what your party prefers, provide it, and be flexible in how you do it.
Next, be prepared. No, not like that. I’m talking about having what you need ready and in the format that is most efficient for how you’ll use it, and leave the rest at home (or in your bag, ready if needed but not cluttering up your workspace).
Speaking of your workspace, get a DM screen. There is a ton of creativity here so go with what makes you happy. Use the side facing you to attach reference material that is used most often during a game. Don’t clutter it with esoteric stats or information that may never be needed (keep that in your bag).
I’ve used two three-ring binders clipped together as DM screens, with the detail sheets and maps of my adventure inserted into plastic sheet protectors. I’d flip the pages to wherever the group is in my adventure and always keep the map of their current location visible to the left or right of that. This way I could have four separate sheets visible at any one time and could easily change what’s in front of me based on what’s currently happening.
Keep a notepad handy and use it! When the party encounters six orcs, I’ll write “Orc 1, Orc 2, etc.” down in a list and note their hit points next to each. As the monsters sustain damage, I’ll scratch out their current HP and write the new lower value next to it. When an orc dies, I’ll write “XP 10” or whatever experience points were earned by its demise.
As the party finds treasure and coins, I’ll write them in a separate list.
At the end of the session, I can quickly tally up the experience earned for monsters slain and how much treasure was recovered.
I’ll also add short notes about key events. This is very useful when summarizing the session and remembering where the party left off the next time you play.
Here’s a valuable hint about taking notes. Get one of the players to keep a log of treasure earned, monsters slain (and by whom), and key events.
If the party gets a quest from a talking statue, the party’s “scribe” should have that written down in their log (and what the statue said, in summary).
Obviously the party won’t know how many hit points an orc had or how many experience points were earned by its demise (or captured — grant the same XP for both) but they’ll at least know, “In the first main room of the dungeon, we killed six orcs and retrieved 38 gold pieces, 46 silver pieces, and three spears.”
At the beginning of subsequent sessions, I’ll ask the player scribe to summarize what happened in the previous session. If they get a detail wrong here or there, let it stand. Don’t correct them. That’s actually part of the fun. (It’s also fun, after hearing their read-back of what transpired during the previous session, to smile and say, “Close.”)
Chapter 8: Stepping Outside the Game
Sometimes it’s necessary and/or appropriate to step out of the gameplay and talk about the game itself. This is often when a rule is reviewed (“Mirrors need a light source to work; The glowing eyes of the basilisk don’t count as a light source.”) or when some detail is consulted from one of the core rule books (spell effects and weapon damage are the most common in my experience).
You will be called upon to make rulings throughout the game, and this is where you will show your maturity and capability as a fair referee.
You have two primary jobs as a Dungeon Master. You are there to referee the game. You tell the party what they see, they tell you want they do, and then you tell them the results. It’s not you against them. Your role should never be adversarial to the players.
I give my players a fair fight, always running the monsters according to their intelligence, knowledge and instincts, but I personally am always rooting for the players to succeed.
Your other duty, and this is the one that reigns supreme, is to provide an experience where everyone (including you) has the highest likelihood of having a good time. Results are not guaranteed, but do your best to make “a good time” as likely as possible.
To be successful in both jobs you must be fair and just. It also helps to be consistent.
There are a great many rules in the core rule books. These are not rigid like the laws of physics, such as gravity and the speed of light. The rules are a language players and DMs alike agree upon so that we can all come together around a table (real or virtual) from the same starting point and same set of expectations.
It’s rare that I run a game session without having to either look up a rule or make a ruling based on a circumstance that’s not already covered in a clear cut manner by a printed rule.
Occasionally, we will experience a situation that requires either a new rule, the voluntary removal of a canonical rule, or more often the case a modification of a rule.
These are called “table rules” and are simply “how we play it in a way that differs from what’s printed (or isn’t printed).”
For example, in Basic/Expert, when a character reaches zero hit points, they’re dead. In AD&D, when they reach zero hit points, they’re unconscious. They don’t actually die until they get to -10 hit points. In 5e, when they reach zero hit points, they roll a series of death saving throws.
My current table follows the Basic/Expert rule that when you reach zero hit points, you’re dead. Period.
My previous table used a custom death save method. When a character is reduced to between zero and -9 hit points, they’d roll a d20 and compare that their Constitution score. They’d have to role at or below their CON to survive, modified by any negative hit points.
For example, Bargle the Fighter sustains a blow that takes him to exactly zero hit points. His CON is 16. The player rolls d20 and must get 16 or below. If he does, Bargle remains at 0 hit points but is considered unconscious, not dead. If he rolled 17, Bargle dies.
Let’s say Clarno the Cleric sustains a blow that takes him to -5 hit points. His CON is 12. The player rolls a d20 and must get 7 or lower to survive (that’s 12 minus 5).
If a character has a CON score of 5 and sustains enough damage to take them to -5 or lower hit points, they die automatically because it’s mathematically impossible for them to roll a 0 or lower on a d20.
This is an example of a table rule that me and my players came up with and agreed upon after a few characters frustratingly died in short order and the players felt like, “Death needs to matter but not be quite so easy to occur.” They felt the numerous death saving rolls in 5e were too generous and “Death at zero hit points” of Basic/Expert was too harsh.
Be prepared to ask your players how they feel about the way a particular rule or situation is handled, be fair, offer your own suggestions, get consensus, then make a ruling.
Ultimately, it is the DM that makes this ruling, not the players, but at the same time, read the room. If you decide on a particular rule or interpretation of a rule that goes against the desires of the majority of players at your table, be careful and think hard about it before making that decision.
Chapter 9: Semper Gumby (Always Flexible)
I spoke about improvisation and want to go into detail about it here. I’m not talking about your ability to get into a character where you take on different mannerisms or speak in an interesting voice. You can do that, and players tend to appreciate it (read the room).
Instead, what I’m talking about is your ability to think on your feet and adapt to events in the game. In my opinion, this is probably the single most valuable skill a DM can develop.
Notice I didn’t refer to it as a talent or something the DM either possesses or doesn’t possess. The ability to adapt seamlessly as the game progresses is definitely a skill and it is one any DM can develop over time.
You have one goal as DM when it comes to flexibility: make it seem as if it was intended all along.
Never let the players detect that you’re making something up on the spot. This is the challenge of your ability to be flexible.
If you’re caught in a pinch and need to act quickly, there are some tricks to help. Flip through your notes (in a somewhat obvious way) so the players think you’ve got the answer noted, you just need to find the details. Your brain will be in creative mode while you act like you’re looking things up.
You can also let the dice decide. This is a common tool I use when the stakes aren’t particularly high or impactful to the adventure. By not over-planning, you’ll have the flexibility of using a dice roll and stated odds for an outcome.
Conversely, if the outcome must be one way or another, just make the call yourself rather than leaving it up to chance.
Recently, I had a player beseech their god for divine intervention. I took inspiration from the AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide and assigned a 1% chance to the character’s deity to respond. The player rolled d100 and guess what? They hit that magic 1% mark! I had to adapt to the circumstance and provide the player with the actions their deity took. The players had a great time (they knew the odds ahead of time) and I was challenged (and grew) as a DM. That was a memorable situation that wouldn’t have happened if I’d just said, “Your god doesn’t seem to respond.” (That was my initial thought on how to handle the player’s request.)
Chapter 10: After the Game
Within a day or two after a game session I’ll write up a quick summary of what transpired. In some groups, I publish these session notes to a custom wiki I created for the group (but yet publicly accessible). In my current group, these are just for my own notes. I review them the night before the next game takes place (I still ask the group scribe to summarize previous events based on their own notes).
A benefit of reviewing session notes after a game is to plan the next steps. There’s a joke about math teachers only needing to read one chapter ahead of their students, and dungeon mastering has a fair bit of that. The party can only see what’s around their party at the time, but you need to know where they are likely to go next. That’s what you need to have in your mind — and hopefully your notes — before the next game occurs.
After a game, I also tally up how much experience the party has earned and which monsters are dead. This way I can ensure the group doesn’t keep fighting the same orc (on paper, at least).
Finally, I like to make notes of which character took possession of objects like magic items or weapons. Note that not all players keep track of what their character has acquired. I’ve had to gently remind a few of my younger or more inexperienced players that their character now has a magical weapon or potion of healing that they inconveniently forgot about. (Experienced players shouldn’t be given this assistance from the DM.)
Chapter 11: Sandboxing
The opposite of railroading is called sandboxing or the sandbox style of play. You create the world and the players tell you where their party goes and what they decide to do. Instead of a talking statue giving them a quest, the statue mentions something and the party decides if they want to pursue it or not.
A common technique for sandbox games is the bulletin board posted in the group’s home-base town (or whatever town they visit). They’ll see notices about captured townspeople, nearby ruins that must have all undead cleared out with a hefty reward from the abbot, missing magic items to be recovered, etc. The party can choose to accept these adventures or simply say, “We head east.”
If you created the world and the things within it, you will be called upon to roll with what the party does and present them with new opportunities. It’s the classic, “You tell the party what they see, they tell you what they do, and you tell them the results.”
It’s very important to not over-plan your sandbox world. This doesn’t mean that you have to make up everything within it on the fly, either. Create dungeons and encounters and inhabitants, but be flexible about where they are located or when the party “discovers” them.
I put “discovers” in quotes because it can be up to you to decide when they find different locations or monsters or NPCs in order to keep the fun rolling along. If you originally intended for the party to encounter a hobgoblin raiding party on the road to Millstown, but they decided to take the road to Riverton instead, you can be flexible by having the party encounter the raiding party on that road instead. Unless something must exist in a particular location or take place at a particular time for a very specific and consequential reason, roll with it.
Think of your sandbox as a collection of toys in a toy box. You can pull out the toy that makes sense based on what the party is doing and where they’re doing it.
I typically have a collection of 3-6 small dungeons I’ve created ahead of time as well as wilderness encounters and have them printed out and ready in my bag. I can tap into them as needed based on how the game is going.
One tip I’ve found very useful is to get a sense for where the party is going to go next before you end each session. Don’t be afraid to ask the party their intentions at the end of each session, “Where do you think you’ll go next?”
Don’t let that decision be made (if you can help it) at the beginning of a new session unless you’re prepared for those contingencies. Let the players have their sense of agency but try to get those big decisions to occur at the end of the session so you can prepare before the next session takes place.
Player agency is the freedom to make their own choices. Inhibit player agency as little as possible.
Don’t be afraid to explain this need to the players. They will understand and appreciate that their fun depends on you having at least some time to adequately prepare.
Chapter 12: Herding Cats
I initially thought about naming this section “Player Management” but realized that’s an entirely incorrect and ill-advised way of looking at it. You don’t want to manage your players, and you certainly never want to try to control them (you won’t be able to no matter what).
Players can be a bit like cats. They are independent thinkers, not just as individuals but as a group. They will constantly surprise you and do things you can’t anticipate.
For example, you may present them with a trap or puzzle that you can only think of one way to overcome. That method might be obvious and easy to obtain, but for whatever reason, the party may come up with an approach you could never have foreseen. Roll with it. Better yet, don’t plan encounters or experiences that only have one solution. In fact, you don’t necessarily have to conceive of what the solution is at all. Leave that up to the players!
(Not all problems must be solved. Roll with it and find something else shiny the party can pursue. Semper gumby.)
Everyone at the gaming table has a unique personality. They have their own likes and dislikes, preferences and aversions, quirks and commonalities. Above all, everyone has the right to their own opinion. If a player doesn’t like your group’s way of playing, they have the right to not enjoy it and therefore they have the right to go play somewhere else.
You will sometimes find yourself feeling a bit like a playground teacher, keeping the kids from squabbling or getting into fights. Most D&D players and DMs alike would agree that it is the DM’s responsibility as referee of the game to also be the referee of the group. If a problem player can’t be handled in the usual ways, it often falls on the DM’s shoulders to evict them from the table. Don’t be surprised if the players themselves do this.
In fact, whenever you can, find a way to get the players to manage themselves. I’ve seen a group of 11 year olds put the smack down in-game on a player who insisted on having their character smack other characters in the head (in-game). After being reduced to a single hit point, that player got the hint, apologized at the beginning of the next session, and the party moved on. If a group of 11 year-olds can do this, don’t be surprised if adults can do the same (no guarantees).
For the most part, the only obligation players around a D&D table should have placed upon them is to be decent human beings toward each other. Respect and courtesy go a long way toward avoiding most conflicts that can arise when two or more people gather together. Express this expectation to every and all members when they join the group and provide occasional off-line reminders to those that need to hear it (don’t shame players in front of the group; that method is immature and is never effective).
Chapter 13: Final Thoughts
Dungeons & Dragons is a game. The purpose is to have fun. Be self-aware and open to the views and perspectives of others to ensure fun is still being had. When it’s not, be open-minded and honest with yourself and others about possible changes.
D&D is optional. No one should be made to feel like participation is mandatory, including yourself. It’s not uncommon for DM’s to reach a point of feeling overwhelmed. Taking a break can be very useful, especially when it comes to recharging your creative juices. Players will often need to step away from the table for a few sessions, not only for emotional reasons but because life has a way of intervening when you have other plans.
Never hold against someone their need to do other things. Remember, D&D is optional.
Finally, if you are having a good time or appreciate your players’ actions or attitudes, express it. Those who dedicate themselves to a pursuit, especially when it enables others to have a good time as well, need to hear your appreciation and acknowledgement.
On the flip side of that, don’t expect or demand appreciation from the players. Some will be very thankful and eager to express their thanks, but many players won’t. That’s okay. Being a Dungeon Master is often a thankless job, so you should be prepared to do your work and work your hardest to provide the best experience possible for all considered (you included) and let that be its own reward.
Remember when I said being a DM is a labor of love? If you don’t love that labor, you won’t be doing it for long.