D&D Impostor Syndrome Sucks!
Impostor Syndrome sucks. It’s a pattern of thinking that you’re a fraud, and your incompetence is about to be discovered at any moment. It’s like you have this assumption that you’re in over your head, or that your skills are completely inadequate for the task at hand.
Table-top role-playing gamers and dungeon masters experience Impostor Syndrome. This may be a bit more common among dungeon masters, especially ones new to the game, but players feel it, too. Even though D&D and other RPGs like it are recreational hobbies that don’t keep score, and there’s no winners or losers, it’s surprising when you talk to someone who confesses their anxiety that their ability to play the game is woefully inadequate.
During a recent poll on my YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/@Ruckerworks/, I asked “How often do you personally experience Impostor Syndrome during table-top role-playing games?”
25% selected “Never. I’m awesome!”. 40% said they sometimes experience Impostor Syndrome, and 35% said they always experience it. So that means 75% of us experience Impostor syndrome at least sometimes while playing our games.
If you’re one of the 25% who are always confident in your D&D dungeon mastering or playing abilities, this article is not for you.
But, if you’re one of the rest of us mortals who feel moments or even years of doubt, where we assume our inability to play the game fails to meet some arbitrary standard, then keep reading.
Impostor Syndrome Is Common
I recently watched a video from Ginny Di where she poured herself a Mimosa and then answered a series of questions from her followers. She addressed some interesting topics, and one of them sparked the question in my mind, “Do D&D gamers feel Impostor syndrome?”
The answer, at least in my head, was an immediate, Yes, definitely yes. I say this because I feel it, too.
I did some research and learned that it’s estimated between 60-70% of people experience Impostor Syndrome at some point. So we’re not alone.
For context, I’ve been playing D&D since 1980, most of that time as a dungeon master. You’d think with over four decades of gaming experience, I wouldn’t have any irrational worries about my ability to run the game. I’m still making mistakes and learning from them, but that’s the objective stuff. But subjectively speaking, even to this day, I have these little moments of doubt and nervousness before a game where I question my ability to show my players a good time.
Will the night’s adventure be engaging enough? Are my NPCs boring? Are the tricks and traps or combat encounters too easy or too hard?
Those are more anxiety-type doubts, but what I’m talking about is that kind of feeling where you think you’re incapable or inadequate for the job. It’s that fear the players are going to have a lightbulb moment where they realize you’re just not that good at it.
Can you relate to this experience?
Impostor Syndrome Is Irrational
Here’s the thing. Impostor Syndrome is by definition irrational. It’s an assumption of failure before the attempt has even begun, or an assumption of inadequacy even in the middle of a totally adequate performance, and maybe even in the middle of an objectively successful one.
But we don’t see it that way, do we?
If you’re a player, the initiative order comes around to you and because you spent 5 seconds thinking about what spell to cast or where to move, you make this immediate assumption that the other players are sitting there looking at you, thinking, “This idiot shouldn’t be at the table.”
If you’re the DM, you act out what an NPC says, and the players have this sort of “meh” expression on their faces. You sit there thinking, “I should have used an accent like that famous voice actor who plays D&D on YouTube and everyone knows their name and they have a million followers and and and…”
But you know what? Your brain is lying to you. It’s like a voice only you can hear and it’s talking smack and throwing insults left and right, yet none of them are true.
Don’t Take the Game Too Seriously
What I find most annoying about having gamer’s Impostor syndrome is the pointlessness of it all. Not only is it false, but this is a game where we don’t even keep score. Everyone at the table is a volunteer. It’s a hobby. Nobody’s life is at stake, there are no gold medals to strive for, and if something doesn’t go as you’d like, your name will not be in the papers tomorrow.
Newspapers barely even exist anymore.
It’s like that line from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: I do have a test today. That wasn’t bullshit. It’s on European Socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists and it still wouldn’t change the fact that I can’t kill that orc.
Evidence Of Fraud
If you feel like you’re an Impostor in your gaming group, take a look at the evidence and ask yourself “What conclusion does it support?” Here’s a hint by way of a key question to answer: Do you keep getting invited back?
Maybe you’re the DM and you’re feeling a lot of self-doubt about your ability to prep or run the game. Let’s look at the evidence. Do the players keep showing up? Okay, here’s another one. Do the players keep showing up? Oh, and another bit of evidence, do the players keep showing up?
You’re probably getting the point I’m trying to make.
Some Gamers and DMs Are Bad
Let’s look at the opposite situation.
I made one video where I talk about some genuinely bad players and one genuinely bad DM, but those are isolated, specific situations. Watch the video and ask yourself this question, “Am I like those people?” I bet you’re not. I bet you watch that video and think, “I could probably improve a few things, sure, but at least I’m not as bad as them!”
When the Table Votes You Out: 3 D&D Stories
And even if you are, you’ve already accomplished the first step toward recovery: acknowledging that you have a problem.
I kid, but the bottom line is, we all can be better players or better DMs, but is that level of scrutiny really that important?
This Game is For Fun
This is a game. It’s for fun. There are no winners or losers. 99% of the time, if there’s something not as ideal as you’d prefer, it’s most likely a personality clash. And you know what? That kind of thing happens to everybody. You don’t have to be sitting across a gaming table to not really like someone or for them to not really like you.
But it’s not about you. Some people just clash. We try to honor one of the primary rules in the game of “Don’t be a dick” but when it comes to actually being a better player or being a better DM, try to lower the bar a bit inside your brain. Give yourself some slack. Don’t hold yourself to a needlessly high standard.
It’s only a game. We’re doing this for fun. So be yourself, and remember the person sitting next to you is probably way more concerned about their own performance than they are about yours.
Maybe you should recommend they read this article.
Now, for the detail. We start with 1979’s AD&D Dungeon Master’s Guide.
Next, we go to the 1981 Basic D&D Rulebook that was included in the Moldvay edition of the Basic boxed set. The rulebook included everything you need to know how to play the game, whether you were a player or a dungeon master.
We’re now entering the WotC era of D&D as we review the 2014 release of the 5th edition Dungeon Master’s Guide.
This next entry is the only 3rd party publication I’ve included. There are many but this is the one I’m most familiar with and feel it represents a unique offering because it is concise and to the point, unlike the others in this review.
I’m going to end my reviews with the current DMG produced by WotC, the 5th edition Dungeon Master’s Guide, 2024 edition.
