In this article I’m going to discuss our problems. No, not those, I’m talking about our problems around the D&D table. Players have habits the DM wished they’d break, and DM’s have certain behaviors that players would rather do without.
So, this is a ranked-list article of the top 10 things DM’s wish players would change, and the top 10 things players wished DM’s would change. Plus, be sure to read to the end for a special list of 5 things all of us would rather do without at the D&D table.
Here goes.
PART 1: 10 Things Players wish DMs would change
To begin, here is my list of 10 things Players wish DMs would change.
10. Be Transparent About Homebrew Rules
Players love creativity in their DMs, but don’t let house rules be a surprise mid-combat. Set expectations early so no one feels blindsided. Remember, creativity is good. Random and arbitrary is not.
9. Give Everyone a Spotlight
Most players want at least one moment to shine. Pay attention when you see a player fading into the background or never getting a chance for their character to really do their thang. This is especially important if a character gets a cool magic item or weapon — give them an opportunity to use it.
8. Say “Yes, and…” More Often
When players come up with wild or clever solutions, reward that creativity if you can. The answer doesn’t always have to be “There no squeegees in D&D!” See my video, “There are no squeegees in D&D!” to learn what I mean.
7. Build Around Backstories
Players spend time crafting their characters’ histories. Even small nods to those details go a long way if that’s what the player is into. Again, know your players. And players, remember it’s not a requirement that the DM do this, so don’t get butthurt if they don’t author an entire six-month long campaign around the poem your tiefling sorcerer wrote when they were six.
6. Use Session Zeroes
In your session zero, talk about tone, table rules, themes, and preferences before the campaign starts. It sets the whole group up for success. This is an opportunity for everyone to get to know each other better, player and DM alike. It also helps to run a quick 15-30 combat session at the end so everyone gets used to the process.
5. Be Consistent with Rules
If an enemy can disengage and attack in the same turn, let the rogue do it too. Consistency builds trust. Above all, the DM is a referee and everyone expects referees to be fair. Unless you’re a former Major League Umpire and then all your bets are off — except for when you’ve rigged the game, then all your bets are winners.
4. Be Descriptive, Not Just Functional
Describe the feel of a dungeon, not just its layout. The narrative flavor matters as much as the mechanics. I like to describe not only have a setting looks but how it smells, what the temperature feels like and so on. One of my favorites is, “You open the door to the secret chamber and instantly smell what could only be described as an orc’s loin cloth cooked in garlic and shallots with a hint of capers and paprika.”
3. Ask for Player Feedback
Players want to feel heard, even if you don’t actually listen to anything they say. But seriously, a simple “How’s the pacing feel to you all?” mid-arc can open important dialogue. Again, this goes back to knowing and understanding your players, and that requires dialogue and active listening. Also, don’t be thin-skinned. If players are willing to give you constructive feedback, pay attention. That’s much better than the alternative of them just not showing up.
2. Have Fun at the Table
Players love when their DMs laugh, roleplay NPCs with flair, or say “Yes, and…” with the chaos. When the DM is having fun, the players will, too. Above all, be yourself but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there a bit, too. Be open to the moment.
1. Allow Player Agency
Let players make their impact on the world on their terms. Their choices should matter and they should be allowed to make their choices, for good or bad. Don’t railroad the plot in spite of of their choices and actions. The worst is when the DM says, “I can’t let you do that because that’s not how I planned everything.” I made that mistake once and made a whole video about it. “Railroading Killed My D&D Campaign”
PART 2: 10 Things DMs wish Players Would Change
Okay, now for part two. Players, this one is for you. Here are the top 10 Things Your DM Wishes You’d Change.
10. Meta-Gaming Like You Have Google Brain
Just because you know the monster’s stat block doesn’t mean your character does. Stay in character. Remember the difference between what you know and what your character knows. I will speak from personal experience that this is not always easy to do, but it really does add more than just garlic and paprika-flavoring to the game if you can pull it off.
9. Playing the Lone Wolf
If your character refuses to cooperate with the rest of the party, ask yourself why they’re traveling with a party at all. D&D is cooperative and somewhat democratic storytelling, so don’t deviate too often from the consensus of the group. If you have a cool idea or a different way of doing something, share it with the other players and get their feedback. They might say yes, but remember that no matter how great of a quarterback Justin Herbert may be, he still needs an offensive line that runs the same plays as him.
8. Treating the DM Like the Enemy
This isn’t PvP. The DM isn’t trying to kill your character. In fact, they want you to succeed. If they present challenges to you, there’s usually a reason and a reward. Don’t take it personally and don’t get antagonistic with the referee unless your DM is Dave, in which case he probably really is out to get you.
7. Fighting Over Loot
Please, we beg you … don’t spend 20 minutes arguing over who gets the +1 long sword. Work it out like adventurers, not greedy little toddlers fighting over a cookie. Otherwise you’ll all get sent to bed without any supper.
6. Acting Like a Rules Nazi
There are a LOT of rules in D&D, and DMs have a ton of things to think about and remember during game-play. If they forget a rule or get one wrong, you can bring it up but don’t grind the game to a complete halt over it, especially once the DM has made a ruling on it. There are already too many nazis in the world as it is.
5. Always Choosing Combat
If you attack the guard instead of talking to him just because it’s “faster,” I promise the game gets flatter. Being assigned the title of “Murder Hobo” is not a compliment. I’ve run games with players like this and trust me, it gets old real quick for everyone at the table, not just the DM.
4. Derailing Serious Scenes
Know when to laugh and when to let a scene breathe. Don’t go off on an unrelated tangent in the middle of intense play, especially about real-life stuff. Read the room. Think of it like a play. You wouldn’t want to go into your best Robin Williams impression in the middle of the Diary of Anne Frank.
3. Min-Maxing Without Flavor
Look, power-gaming has its place, but if your character has zero personality, it’s hard to write a story around them. It’s okay if you treat your character as just a collection of optimized stats and gear, because it’s your character and you can play them how you prefer. Just remember that it’s a character sheet, not a spreadsheet.
2. Creating Distractions During Roleplay
Shopping sprees, long tangents and unrelated exploration into areas that are obviously unrelated to the campaign can be cool sometimes and in moderation, but they can stall the session. Know when to rein it in. To add to what I said before, don’t just read the room, read the DM. If they give you very short, curt descriptions of something and they get this little wrinkly scowl on their face when they say, “There’s nothing of interest in the goblin’s obviously empty cauldron,” move on.
And now for our #1 thing DMs wish players would change:
1. Zoning Out Between Turns
Phones, snacks, side chats… it’s okay to disengage for a second, but try to stay present. A good DM will tell you when your character is on deck during combat, but even if they don’t, keep track of what’s transpiring before it’s your turn. You’re part of the story even when you’re not rolling dice.
PART 3: Five Weird Ones
As promised, here is a special list of 5 do’s and don’ts for both players and DMs alike:
5. If you tell your romantic partner that you’re going to stay up all night watching TV because there’s an MTV’s Liquid Television Marathon and they’re going to play all the original Beavis & Butthead episodes, including the original “Frog Baseball” episode, and then your partner asks “Are you sure?” — I suggest you say, “Never mind, I’ll hang out with you instead. What would you like to watch, dear?” Trust me.
4. If you bring chips or other crunchy snacks to the game, please have some courtesy and chew with your mouth closed. That smacking sound makes the rogue roll with disadvantage on their next stealth check.
3. Take a shower this month, whether you think you need one or not. The others around the table will appreciate it. 40 ounces of Axe body spray is not a valid substitute.
2. Not every goblin wants to be your pet. Just because they might fit in your backpack doesn’t mean you get to take them home with you. Goblins have feelings, too.
Finally, number 1:
1. Don’t clip your toenails at the D&D table. Even the half-orc barbarian with 4 charisma thinks that’s gross.
